Sunday, August 22, 2010


Mother Nature does not fuck around and apparently she reads this blog.  I was fine.  I was fucking happy. Then the last two hours happened and suddenly I'm ready to kick some ass.  Anybodies ass.  My puppy, whom I love just accidentally head butted me and I had to put him down and walk away because the bitch/anger/homicidal factor is at it's limit.  I'd prefer to be left alone to watch whatever I want and eat some chicken (I'm having an insane craving for chicken) in silence.  Is that going to happen? No.  Why?  Because when not menstruating and homicidal I pro-created like a motherfucker and there are kids all over the place.  And animals. Animals that all I had a hand in bringing into this house.  Right now though?  I'd kill for an empty single bedroom apartment stocked with chicken, Grape Vodka, chocolate and elastic waisted pants and no mirrors. 

Is it too much to ask?

Hey, keep your fucking opinions to yourself because that, a-holes, was a rhetorical question.

I quit smoking some eight years ago but I may go find one right now before I go all Scarface on somebody. Or Gemma.  Gemma from SOA.  With a skateboard.  If you haven't watched that show yet (and that particular reference is from Season 1) then I don't know why you're still here.  It's a pre-requisite to being a party to this blog.

Which? I already fucking told you.

Get there faster.

I need a drink.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Cher:

    I came across your blog post today. While I think it was very funny and an entertaining read, I do also feel with you.

    Not that I can, really, as I am a man. But I have enough women around me to suffer from "Mother Nature" too...

    Why I am writing also, first of all, why did I find you, we have a product for PMS, a CD, which contains recordings of bio-resonances of natural substances.

    We are in the middle of launching the product after extensive testing and we have a very high success rate.

    If you feel like turning the sound on and PMS off, feel free to have a look and let us know what you think:

    We guarantee the product, 60 Day Money Back through Paypal. No risk involved.

    Enjoy your PMS and period. It might be the last you have to suffer through :-)

    All the best and thank you for the entertaining words.

    Thomas Schramm